In my book, The Patient Parent, there are a few quotes that pack a huge amount of parenting wisdom into a few lines. Here’s a selection of some of the best to inform your parenting.
This one is from Shane Parrish of Farnam Street blog, the conversation with him was really thought provoking. It reminds me to think about how to make the most of the time I have with my kids.
“I often think backwards. When they are 18, they’ll probably move away for school. I’m divorced, so I get my kids half the time, so that’s nine out of 18 years. And it’s not really 18 years because when they are 12, 13, or 14, they become more independent. I want to be there for them, but it’s going to be different to how it is now.
Time is like the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I have four or five more years where the kids are going to be this intense with me. Out of those, they’ll be with my ex for half of the time. So I’ve really only got two or maybe three years to solidify the relationship with them. That’s not a lot of time. That’s why it has to be high-quality time.”
This is from a Mike Skinner song. It helps me get out of negative thought loops. Maybe not his best song, but that lyric is killer.
“You’re not the voice in your head, you’re the one who listens to it.”
This is from Barbara Coloroso, a 70-year-old parenting guru. There’s so much in those 13 words. It often feels like the opposite to how most people parent today and makes life so much easier because if you’re not always on them, you’ve got space for you and they have space for them.
“If it is not morally threatening, life-threatening, or unhealthy, let it go.”
Viktor Frankl. Holocaust survivor. The hardest earned wisdom. I find this helps me choose to do the right thing rather than the thing I feel triggered or pushed to do.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”
David Hieatt this one. A serial founder of cool companies like DO lectures and books, Huit Denim and Howies. A straight to the point quote about being a good role model and getting what you give.
“They really want your presence and your happiness. You quickly learn how good they are at mimicking behaviour. If they see you stressed and worried, they learn stress and worry. If they see you happy and full of life, they learn that.”
This is from Brett Earle, a celebrity stylist. I’m quite a level, practical guy, I’m not the life and soul of the party, or a big character. So this one’s particularly important, and hard, because it reminds me to take the lead in finding and sharing the fun, awesome, wondrous, silly, unusual things in life.
“I want my kids to believe things are amazing. To believe in a constant aaahhhh not uuurrrgggghhh.
Staying on track as a dad means constantly checking yourself to see what role you’re playing in your child’s life.”
This one’s like a slap. It always makes me stop and think about whether I’m making the most of the moment. It’s from a grandad I interviewed. He didn’t want his story published, which is fine, but I couldn’t let that thought go and he was happy to share it.
“There’s a last time for everything.
A last time they hold your hand in public, a last time they sit on your lap, a last time they give you a cuddle out the blue.
Make the most of it.”