Emotions are endlessly fascinating. Blame especially.

According to Brene Brown, blame is faster than accountability. It happens because when something doesn’t go as expected, it’s uncomfortable, painful. Blame is a way of discharging those horrible feelings.

Although slower, accountability is where growth happens, but it’s harder to get to because you need to be vulnerable and courageous to get to it. You have to sit with the pain and discomfort.

So when your children blame others, reacting with strength, to ‘make them’ take responsibility, is the wrong thing to do. It just increases those painful feelings and battle ensues. Instead, slow down, help them through the discomfort and move the conversation into a positive space.